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[05-07-05] (UL by: John Doe) (0 KB)
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  • What is a Yankee?
    The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

  • What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
    The position of the dirt bag

  • Why is divorce so expensive?
    Because it's worth it.

  • What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
    Doughnuts.

  • Why is air a lot like sex?
    Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any

  • What do you call a smart blonde?
    A golden retriever.

  • What do attorneys use for birth control?
    Their personalities.

  • What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
    45 lbs

  • What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
    45 minutes

  • What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
    Through his chest with a sharp knife.

  • Why do men want to marry virgins?
    They can't stand criticism.

  • Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
    Because those men already have boyfriends.

  • What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
    After a year, the dog is still excited to see you

  • What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
    The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

  • Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
    Because they have cotton balls.

  • What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
    A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

  • What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
    "Are you sure it's mine?"

  • Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
    Mace will do that to you.

  • Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
    Everyone has the same DNA.

  • Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
    Breasts don't have eyes.

  • Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
    He walks around saying "Yo."

  • Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
    Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

  • Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
    A different bar.

  • Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
    They named him "Sum Ting Wong"

  • What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
    A speech impediment.

  • What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
    They're hiring.

  • What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
    A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe".

  • How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
    Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

  • What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
    A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..."

  • Why is there no Disneyland in China ?
    No one's tall enough to go on the good rides
  • Rate this item
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    Comment Box
    joakim: me find this funny an i numer 12
    2006-11-24 14:48:40

    jaja: Stygge hele gjengen, 11 ruler! moi!
    2006-11-24 14:47:59

    hjalmr: jg r nmr 10 a å bst av ale!
    2006-11-24 14:47:34

    Woho: 9!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    2006-11-24 14:46:49

    yt: jeg er best nummer 7 også
    2006-11-24 14:46:12

    wee: ingen slår meg da, nummer 6.
    2006-11-24 14:45:48

    me: jeg var ihvartfal 5
    2006-11-24 14:45:15

    Styyyyggg: Hah! Nummer fire!
    2006-11-24 14:44:48

    tyl: jeg var nummer 3 da..
    2006-11-24 14:44:25

    jk: andremann
    2006-11-24 14:44:05

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